


Reaffirmation

by glaciesdraco



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glaciesdraco/pseuds/glaciesdraco
Summary: Prompt:"Do you even still love me?"Sometimes we get so comfortable with the people we love we forget to remind them that we do.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Comments: 7
Kudos: 97





	Reaffirmation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minizayas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minizayas/gifts).



“When are you planning to come up for bed?”

Izaya paused his typing to spare Shizuo a glance. The other was standing a short distance away from his desk looking a bit disheveled from laying down on the couch and watching TV all afternoon. He checked the time. He hadn’t meant to let it get so late. Then he glanced back up at Shizuo who was giving him his usual frown.

“Not sure. I’m in the middle of gathering intel on this person so it might take a bit longer than usual.”

Shizuo visibly chagrined. “Okay fine.” He turned and stomped over to the stairs.

Izaya sighed. “What crawled up Shizu-chan’s butt?”

“Nothing!” Shizuo spat. Then he turned back. “You haven’t spoken to me all afternoon!”

“You haven’t spoken to me either.” Izaya challenged, eyeing him a little warily. His hands that were hovering above his keyboard in pause began typing a little sporadically as Shizuo spoke, which only proceeded to fan the flames.

“Because every time I do you keep working! Like you don’t want to talk to me or something!”

“I’ve just been a bit busy is all,” Izaya said, pointedly placing his hands in his lap. “I wasn’t trying to dismiss you.”

“It’s not just that though!” Shizuo said forcefully, stomping closer. “You haven’t been talking to me at all lately. You haven’t been coming to bed on time, or, or texting me as often. It feels like…” Shizuo’s voice softened suddenly, as he usually did when something was making him more upset than it was angry. “It feels like you’re just maintaining me.”

Izaya tried to refrain from looking like he’d been slapped. He kept his face as calm as possible.

“I don’t understand where this is all coming from. We’ve eaten dinner together every night this week.”

“No _you’ve_ been eating at your desk while I eat on the couch.” Shizuo ground out. “We haven’t done anything together in a long time.”

Izaya couldn’t really think of a retort. He honestly hadn’t noticed the shift between them, but then again he had been immersed in all of the piles of work the Yakuza had been leaving him with as of late. It almost felt like they were intentionally trying to keep him busy, but the work itself had been rather rewarding so he honestly didn’t care either way. He wasn’t trying to make any plans of his own much nowadays because he already had plenty of entertainment at home.

Or so he thought.

“Do you even still love me?”

Izaya’s eyes widened ever so slightly as Shizuo spoke those words. Words that stung with such hurt in them, hoarse because Shizuo was so uncertain about speaking his feelings sometimes. Izaya quickly stood from his desk chair.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya said with a sudden rashness in his voice and a scowl on his face. “Do you honestly interpret my being a bit busy the past couple of weeks as a sign that I’ve fallen out of love with you?”

“No!” Shizuo said vehemently, but his eyes were twinkling with sensitivity. “But maybe, I don’t know, I don’t interest you like I used to. Maybe I’m not that great of a human for you to spend all your time with. And maybe you don’t realize it yourself because we’re both so _used_ to this. Like, like how we used to be used to fighting each other all the time. We didn’t know what to do or how to change it.”

Izaya could feel rage boiling up inside his throat, but still he kept his voice level. “Shizuo. I would’ve thought by now that you saw this as something different between us-”

“I know! I do!” Shizuo interrupted. “I just! I feel insecure I guess!”

They both stood in a painful interim where neither knew how to respond to that. Shizuo was the first one to turn away.

“Just forget I said anything. Right, yeah. I was being stupid, you’re right. I didn’t mean to come across so needy.”

“Shizu-”

“You need sleep so I hope you go to bed soon. Good night.”

He rushed up the steps so fast that Izaya felt too awkward calling him back so he just watched him go. Stupid. Careless. What had he been thinking? He reached over to his computer and unplugged the screen with a sharp yank of the wire. Then he turned off the power strip with his toe and sat in his chair for a minute, rotating in place and trying to gather his thoughts the best he could.

Shizuo heard Izaya creeping into the bedroom about twenty minutes later. That was unexpected. If they ever had a fight Izaya usually wouldn’t come up at all and would talk about it with him nonchalantly the next morning. It was usually more than Shizuo hoped for out of the evasive, asocial Izaya, who avoided conflict like the plague and hated to be yelled at. Shizuo had dreaded the confrontation to begin with for fear that Izaya would shut down and seeing that Maintenance light come on in Izaya’s eyes.

Now Izaya was in the bathroom, washing his face and putting on his half a dozen cleansers and moisturizers, and getting ready for bed. Shizuo pouted at the thought. Maybe he’d done so to prove to Shizuo that he did want to spend time with him. There had been a couple of flashes of genuine emotion flashing in his eyes so it might have struck a nerve with the flea. He stiffened as the bathroom light went off and Izaya’s soft footsteps slid against the floor.

Shizuo didn’t question when Izaya stopped over on his side, but then he baulked when Izaya _climbed on top of him_ to get onto his side of the bed.

“Oy!” Shizuo snapped.

“Oh whoops, so you are awake! That’s good.” Izaya kneeled beside him and beamed into his eyes. His fingers danced playfully on Shizuo’s side, poking him. “Hi Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo glared at him.

“So I was thinking…”

“No.”

“Hmm? You didn’t even let me say it!”

“No, I am not going to pretend like what just happened didn’t happen and be all sexy and dirty with you in bed. You know I can’t just switch it off like that.”

“I wasn’t asking you to! Shizu-chan,” Izaya cupped Shizuo’s chin in his hand and puckered his cheeks so that he was making a silly face even though Shizuo was glowering up at him. “Don’t be so pouty. I’m sorry okay? I wasn’t trying to ignore you.”

“Of course not. You wouldn’t want me to notice anything’s out of place right?” Shizuo tried to turn away as sternly but gently as he could but Izaya resisted, making it impossible to get away with hurting the other’s wrist, which Izaya _knew_ was the case. He cracked a smile, but his eyes held a dangerous glint.

“Stop saying stuff like that,” Izaya said with the oddest tone. It sounded cheerful and carefree, but Shizuo could just sense that it was intended as the opposite. Could it be that Izaya was genuinely pissed off? If he was, Shizuo couldn’t understand why. It’s not like it was _his_ fault he was feeling disregarded.

Or maybe it was, Shizuo’s mind noted anxiously.

“I know you won’t believe me when I say this,” Izaya continued as he leaned closer to Shizuo, so close that their mouths were centimeters apart and could meet if either turned their head slightly. Izaya spoke in a whisper. “But I genuinely get so wrapped up in other things sometimes that I don’t see the other factors.”

Shizuo sniffed. _That_ couldn’t be true. Izaya was a mastermind after all. He was all the time predicting things that groups of people would do in reaction to something else. Shizuo had seen it play out in real time.

“I’m not losing interest in you,” Izaya insisted. “But the work I’ve been given at the moment is fairly… straightforward. Easy to obtain. It’s very time consuming though, and I want to keep up the façade that I’m very invested in what their plans are.”

Shizuo blinked, drinking it all in. This was the most Izaya had told him in a month. He could believe most of what Izaya’s saying, but it didn’t make what Shizuo said before disproven.

“I am _not_ maintaining you,” Izaya added with a slight edge in his voice, “Don’t you think I’d be doing a better job than this? I’m only human, Shizu-chan.”

“Oh are you?” Shizuo finally interjected. “I hadn’t noticed. And I am too.”

“You’re not _just_ a human though.” Izaya said, cupping his chin as he looked down on him. “You’re _my_ human. You’re my Shizu-chan. The love of my life. My steady ground in my chaotic maelstrom of a mind. I’m not bored of you,” Izaya’s eyes flashed with desperation. “I rely on you. And I’ve been taking you for granted. So I’m sorry.”

Shizuo stared openly into his eyes for a long moment before leaning up and punctuating his response with a wild kiss. He grabbed Izaya by the waist and rolled him onto his back, kissing passionately and running his hand lovingly through Izaya’s hair. They both had to take a deep breath when Shizuo finally let go.

“Damn, you could’ve just stopped talking after ‘love of my life’. You didn’t have to go into all that bullshit about relying on me.”

Izaya smirked. “Fuck you.”

Shizuo gave Izaya an unsavory once over. Izaya caught his meaning and his face lit up, biting his lower lip to temper his excitement.

“Do you want to?” Shizuo suggested. Izaya hummed his assent, and they rolled into the covers with a mix of desire and immense relief.

Izaya was on top of him, bare naked and breathing into his chest. They lay like this in silence for a very long while when Izaya leaned into his ear and whispered.

“How dare you?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?” Shizuo was too tired and relaxed to care about a tone.

“Ever claim that I don’t.”

“Don’t…?” Shizuo repeated with impatience.

“Don’t love you. How dare you ever allow yourself to think that. I love you,” Izaya said, his voice softer than a whisper. “I love you more than anything. I love you more than people, and more than games. I love you more than any amount of information in the universe. I don’t… I don’t know where I’d be today without you.”

The words were laced with such an emotion that Shizuo did not usually receive from Izaya that all he could do was hold the other tighter and listen whilst fighting the urge to cry.

“Sorry,” Shizuo croaked and Izaya nuzzled even closer to him.

“You ought to be! You stupid brute.” His voice went back to normal.

Shizuo rubbed at Izaya’s back and breathed peacefully. That’s right. How could they ever forget who they were to each other? The quiet, the noise, the balance, and the chaos. The steady, and the sporadic. They always were and always would be, the other’s key to the universe.

**Author's Note:**

> I might be biased but I think this prompt is my favorite a a a a. I know it's probably just... like... cheesy as hell?? Idk though it's just the exact Shit I'm talking about when I say I love this ship so much. Idk Idk I hope you enjoyed!


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